Dear Black Friday,
Let me put this right out in the front of my letter – we aren’t friends. I’m sorry but it’s true. You see, you represent dark and dirty consumerism. You encourage people to fill their lives, and the lives of others, with more junk. You represent financial gain, self-interest, and greed. And, as if all that wasn’t bad enough, you arrive the day after (or the day) we celebrate being thankful for what we already have.Please tell me you see the irony? Your so often successful ploys to pull people out of their beds and away from their families makes me clench my fists. Shop! Buy! Save! Be Happy! you say to people. As if that $30 tchotchke is what’s going to push them over into nirvana. (Hint: it won’t).
Here’s the thing though… I don’t think you want it to be this way. I think consumers and the media have pushed you into being a big jerk. Perhaps they sold you a sob story about how the economy is hurting and it’s more important than ever this year to really put yourself out there. Or, perhaps they appealed to your more logical side and said how “doorbuster deals” would be a mutually beneficial scenario for both consumers and sellers. Or perhaps they just sit in the back of the room and repeatedly jab you with a hot cattle iron. I’m not really sure.
Whatever it is they’ve told you though, I just don’t think your heart is really in it anymore. Which is why I’m writing this letter to you. I want to offer you a deal — Let’s be friends, okay?
I mean it, real pals. The kind who will catch a movie or sip lattes in Starbucks together. I’m willing to give you a pass on the monster you have become and we can start fresh – a clean slate. If you promise to be reasonable (for example not starting door busters on Thanksgiving MORNING) then I will promise to purchase a few needed items during your sales. I’ll also do what I can to support local small businesses throughout the year, because I know we’d both like to see them do well.
I’ve been very honest with you in this letter so I can understand if you have a certain hesitation when it comes to considering a friendship with me. That’s why I wanted to get a head start on our deal from above. Yesterday I put in an order for a few items I’ve been holding out on buying. I took advantage of your deals to better support my needs – see, mutually beneficial. I supported a number of small businesses by purchasing from them and I even ordered online so as not to place an undo staffing burden on stores. Please except these orders as a gesture of good will.
I guess that’s all I have to say for now. I do hope you’ll consider giving our friendship a chance but don’t feel like you need to answer right away. Take some time to think about it. I’ll check back in with you next year.
Take care and get some rest.With love,